Kids Stuff Q&A
OK...I'm overwhelmed with questions from the weekend (true confession #1) AND I'm no expert when it comes to raising kids (true confession #2). But, I'll give each question my best shot.
Q #1: What advice do you have for parents who have "twixters" (22-26 year olds) living at home free of charge? How do we parents at this stage get the adult child to move on?
A: First, I'd have to ask why they're home. Is it for a good reason (saving $ for college or paying off college debt before moving out) or a bad reason ("I just want to have fun and no responsibility")? If it's for good reasons, give them a little slack. If they just want to sponge off of you and not grow up, I think you have to set some clear boundaries with them. Tell them you love them but you no longer will contribute to their immaturity. Give them a date when one of 2 things will happen: A. They will start paying you for room and board; or, B. They will move out. What I've heard from parents who have done this is that once the Twixter starts paying for room and board they don't stay home very long. Don't wait another day to do this. And, once that "day" is determined you MUST stick with it without wavering.
Q #1: What advice do you have for parents who have "twixters" (22-26 year olds) living at home free of charge? How do we parents at this stage get the adult child to move on?
A: First, I'd have to ask why they're home. Is it for a good reason (saving $ for college or paying off college debt before moving out) or a bad reason ("I just want to have fun and no responsibility")? If it's for good reasons, give them a little slack. If they just want to sponge off of you and not grow up, I think you have to set some clear boundaries with them. Tell them you love them but you no longer will contribute to their immaturity. Give them a date when one of 2 things will happen: A. They will start paying you for room and board; or, B. They will move out. What I've heard from parents who have done this is that once the Twixter starts paying for room and board they don't stay home very long. Don't wait another day to do this. And, once that "day" is determined you MUST stick with it without wavering.
Labels: parenting
posted by Pastor Phil Print at 1:19 PM
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