Kid Stuff
Since we're in a parenting series right now, I thought I'd respond to a question I get regularly: Do I force my kid to go to church even if he/she doesn't want to?
The question bugs me. We work really hard to create an experience at Crossroads that is appealing to kids and teens and adults. I get bummed when kids (and teens) don't want to show up. Oh well...
My response to the question is YES, force kids to go to church. Will they whine? Will they pat you on the back for forcing them to do something they don't want to do? You know the answers to those questions. Kids need to learn, however, to do things (that are good for them) even if they don't want to do them. Do you force your kids to go to school? Yes. Do you force your kids to go to bed at night? Yes. Do you force them to eat healthy foods? Yes.
The rule of thumb is as long as they are living under your roof you have every right to expect them to attend church with you. Does that include teens? Yep. Young adults still living at home? Probably (although how you "enforce" this value differs greatly from kids/teens).
I didn't like going to church as a kid/teen. In fact, I hated it!! But, it wasn't optional. And even though my church was dysfunctionally boring, I still learned and benefited greatly from it.
Parents...you are the boss...you call the shots...you lead the way.
The question bugs me. We work really hard to create an experience at Crossroads that is appealing to kids and teens and adults. I get bummed when kids (and teens) don't want to show up. Oh well...
My response to the question is YES, force kids to go to church. Will they whine? Will they pat you on the back for forcing them to do something they don't want to do? You know the answers to those questions. Kids need to learn, however, to do things (that are good for them) even if they don't want to do them. Do you force your kids to go to school? Yes. Do you force your kids to go to bed at night? Yes. Do you force them to eat healthy foods? Yes.
The rule of thumb is as long as they are living under your roof you have every right to expect them to attend church with you. Does that include teens? Yep. Young adults still living at home? Probably (although how you "enforce" this value differs greatly from kids/teens).
I didn't like going to church as a kid/teen. In fact, I hated it!! But, it wasn't optional. And even though my church was dysfunctionally boring, I still learned and benefited greatly from it.
Parents...you are the boss...you call the shots...you lead the way.
posted by Pastor Phil Print at 8:21 AM
1 Comments:
After a move in junior high, I was "forced" to attend our new church. It wasn't a knock-out battle, more of the "I'm too tired" variety. Still, I made life fairly unpleasant for my parents.
I didn't have very good experiences at that church, but on occasion I did have some fun and actually gained helpful insights. After high school, I strayed from the "church."
As I matured, though, I began to realize something was missing. That's when I took the step of finding my own church. (I am so glad I found one that is practical, relevant to everyday life and accepts the non-perfect me!) I know for me personally taking that step of visiting churches and coming back to a Christ-centered life would have been infinitely more difficult if I hadn't had some foundation in "church" growing up.
I am very grateful now that my parents didn't give in to my whining. As my own children age, I'm sure I'll be tempted at times to take the easy way out if they fuss. But I'll remember my own experience and dig my heels in. If my kids gain even one glimpse of Jesus through their church experiences, that may be the one thing for them to hold onto if they also stray. Though I pray it will never be necessary, that one glimpse may be what helps bring them back to Jesus. Then it's all worth it!
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